In today’s podcast, we gathered the “Manning women” for a girl’s podcast! Suzanne invited the girls to Oklahoma for a birthday getaway trip! We believe this conversation is beneficial for all parents, but we purposefully pointed the conversation towards mothers and daughters.
Here is a quick intro of the Manning/Torres/Jones/Robinson women:
Mollie Torres: Oldest, married, and has a boy toddler named Sebastian.
Madeline Jones: 2nd, married, has a boy toddler named Truett and a baby girl named Everly
Macy Robinson: 3rd, married, and living her best aunt life
McKenzie Manning: 4th, in grad school, and also living her best aunt life
We want to talk to all the moms out there about mothers and daughters being best friends. To be honest, female relationships can be complicated. You are not alone if you are struggling in your relationships with your daughter!
We are not perfect, let’s just start with this fact. Our heart is to spur you on in your journey! We can to this together!
As we share our story, we hope you are encouraged by a few ways we’ve seen success in mothers and daughters becoming best friends.
Here’s the Truth: We believe you can inspire your daughter(s) to be who God made them to be!
Early into the girl’s trip, Madeline asked an insightfulquestion.
“Mom, when you had 4 little girls, did you dream of this day? All your girls with you, at a table, solving the problems of the world?”
Suzanne shared how it caused her to stop and think. While she was caught up in laundry, cooking, and life with small children, her honest answer was yes. All her life, she wanted her daughters to be her best friends.
She shared how she loved her relationships with her mom and sister. She fully expected to be close to her daughters.
“I realized, in my head, how unacceptable it seemed not to be best friends with my daughters. I knew I wanted it from day 1.” – Suzanne
What Did We Do Along the Way to Create Strong Relationships?
Mollie shared how differencesare okay.
“You will find commonalities as they grow up. Your daughter’s differences are an invitation to learn new things and see the beauty in what God made them to do!”
Ex. Suzannegoing to endless hours of basketball because all the kids loved it. She only played one season in middle school, but she decided to learn the game to understand her kids.
“If your daughter is not like you, don’t get frustrated. Change your thinking and try loving what she loves!”- Mollie
McKenzie added to this point by challenging all mothers not to allow differences to create insecurities.
“Choose to take those differences to Jesus and let Him give you identity. Allow Him to use your daughter to foster confidence. You don’t have to be the same. Find the beauty in this truth.”
Bottom Line: Your daughter is not living your life. She is not you and you are not her. Allow God to use you and speak into your daughter’s life. Appreciate the unique gift she is to the world!
Ex. Mollie has always been gifted in fashion. Suzanne chose to change her mindset, not allow insecurity to set in. Instead, she gave Mollie an opportunity to use her gift to dress all the kids throughout our childhood.
Madeline shared how Suzanne includedthe daughters in her life. Baby showers (usually her own), Ladie’s teas, birthday parties, and any event she could bring little girls along.
“It helped us feel valued. Time with mom felt like a treat! We left the little brothers at home and joined mom feeling loved and important.” – Madeline
Now we are older and see the value of being with our mom. When she invites us to go on a girl’s trip, we agree because she started inviting us when we were little.
Macy encouraged all moms with this,“Moms, you bring awareness about the world to your daughter(s). Yes, she gets to explore her role as a woman and you get to show her. It is so much bigger than sports, activities, or art.”
“We discovered things growing up because our mom invited us into them. Awareness is powerful.” – Macy
Ultimate Goal: Friendship.
So, Where Are You on the Friendship Spectrum? What Are You Doing to Create Friendship?
Moms, maybe you aren’t friends with your little one at this moment. Maybe they only see you as “mean, old mom.” We believe there is hope. Wherever you are, here are a few ideas of how to be a confident mom AND a friend to your daughter.
Friendship with Jesus First
“Our family had a culture of siblings are best friends and we spend time together. Time together creates lasting relationships.” – Macy
“Be able to talk about anything. This does not mean you share everything. Vulnerability and safety are important in any relationship. Mom did an amazing job of this because she chose to be vulnerable and it created a place for us to be too. Now, as we are going through harder things, she is one of the main people we include because she included us first.” – Madeline
“Speaking life is important. Choosing to stay away from gossip and negative talk. We were not perfect and as sisters we dealt with comparison and jealousy. Mom was quick to shut down frustrations between siblings and help us see Jesus’ perspective of the situation.” – Mollie
McKenzie encouraged us to study John 15 for our belief of friendship.
John 15:15 says, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (NIV)
This scripture challenges each of us to ask a few hard questions.
What do you call your daughter? Friend?
If your daughter loves you, she will obey you.If she is not obeying, why?
What is the block in your relationship?
What is causing a wrong view of friendship in your relationship with your daughter?
How does Jesus choose to be our friend?
What Do You Plan on Doing with Your Daughters to Become Best Friends?
Madeline shared how kids are a privilege to have. Kids have zero idea what amother and daughterrelationship look like. As a mom, we get to be intentional with her.
“I will do my best to write on her heart and mind what it looks like to be a mom, daughter, and friend. I will do it as her teammate.” – Madeline
Macy wanted to show empathy and emotional intelligence for my daughters. She hopes to emphasize by being there for them and feeling what they feel. She shared the picture of Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet and resting in His presence. The safety and comfort of Jesus are the qualities she wants to show her future daughters.
“I want them to know there is always someone in their corner, through the good and bad.” – Macy
Mollie said, “this is funny for me to think about because sometimes I only want sons. What I have seen from our parents is the confidence in our relationship. I will provide for them the same for my kids.”
“The truth is, God created my future daughter to be in my family. I will choose to release when/who/what she is. Me having a daughter is not about me, it is all about God. She is God’s daughter and I want to steward her for His glory.” – Mollie
McKenzie shared her strategy for preparing for daughters one day.
“I will relationally connect with as many girls as I can now. I will choose to learn about myself, my emotional intelligence, and my complexities. I will use this information to learn and love others well. I believe the understanding I will have will help me love whoever my future daughter may be.”
Moms, if you and your daughter’s relationship is not where you want it to be, it’s time to get healthy.
Ask God for vision
Make a list of your favorite things about your daughter
Thank God for your daughter
Choose to broadcast your favorite things
Invite God into your relationship with your daughters. Make a list of all your favorite things and share them with me at [email protected] OR if you are feeling bold, share it on Facebook, Instagram, or any form of social media.Let’s see how your words stir up other moms to see the good in their daughters.
Go today and encourage your daughter by boasting about her amazingness!
Let’s stir up every ounce of good in the relationships with our daughters because they are a gift from God!
If you have a question or a parenting issue that you’d like us to discuss in a future podcast, email us at [email protected].