The Robinson’s are taking over! We heard from Don and Suz last week and now we get to hear from Jared and Macy!
Macy is the 3rd Manning kid and got married 1 month before the global pandemic started. They share some of their journey and what they’ve learned about themselves in their first year of marriage.
How Did They Meet?
They met in a discipleship school in College Station, TX. Their first interaction was on the basketball court. Jared said, “She is beautiful and she can hoop!”They dated for 1 year, engaged for 3 months, and were married February 1st, 2020!
They both wanted their marriage to revolve around mission. The idea of “going on mission” flipped on its head when they becamestuck in a 1-bedroom apartment, working from home, and both got COVID in the first 6 months of their “baby” marriage.
“We believe marriage is about mission and we have so much to learn!” -Macy
What Have They Learned Thus Far?
Character comes out through marriage
Marriage is a huge change
Marriage is more about holiness than happiness
(remember that one from last week?!)
They found themselves in the midst of an all-consuming season of change. They decidedpull back and evaluate.How were they really doing?
Here are 4 ways J & M evaluated themselves and their marriage.
First off, all four of these things are interconnected. Physical health is important and everyone has a different way of maintaining it. For Jared, he had to daily make a choice between lying in bed (and cuddle his new wife)or go work out.
“Working out helps me release tensions and emotions. It’s one of the best ways for me to be my best self.” – Jared
When they saw the effects of not being physically healthy, they figured out how to (lovingly) challenged each other to work out and eat healthy.
Bottom Line: We own our health as individuals. Our spouse doesn’t control what we do. They can simply speak into it and spur us on in healthy choices!
“It’s a personal choice to be healthy and to grow in our physical health every day.”– Macy
Macy shared how God met her in the midst of her deep emotions throughout her life. One thing she is learning, in marriage, is how to right size emotions.
“God is the first place to go when processing my feelings. The very next place I get to go is my loving husband. The order matters.” – Macy
God is ourforever processor. We are invited to go to Jesus first and then go to our spouse. It allow them to be the teammate, not the savior.
Jared shared how growing up, emotions were often not shared, or sometimes brushed over completely.“Talking with Macy about our emotions caused me to shut down, or feel overwhelmed because I didn’t know how to do it.”
“Something I am learning how to do is identify what I am feeling. It’s hard, but it’s one of the first step in emotional maturity.” – Jared
He also shared when Macy is feeling something heavy, he would unintentionally match her feelings. Even after she processed through it, he would stay stuck. He came to realized positive emotions can help both of them get out of the emotional heaviness. They were made to do it together! He does not have to get bogged down by her heaviness. It’s a choice!
When people feel stuck in emotions they can’t grow. Growth comes in the moments when wechoose to share our emotions. It’s worth it to process and it works best when we take it to Jesus and then to our spouse.
Bottom line: God made us to do it together, with Jesus first and each other second.
Macy shared how quickly after they got married, she began to struggle with discontentment. It manifested itself in her picking Jared a part in everything he did.
One thing God reminded her of is that He fully satisfies her and Jared is an abundance of His provision.
“I had to decide not to allow Jared to be an idol in my life. At the end of the day, Jesus is my first love and I go to Him for what I need. In this first year of marriage, this revelation continually reminded me how God takes care of my heart and spirit. He is my daily bread.” – Macy
Jared shared how COVID hitting, being in lock down, working from home, and taking phone calls every day, created a struggle for him as well. He wasn’t spending time with God each morning and not in a spiritually healthy place.
“What I learned is that my relationship with God is my own. I am invited to pursue God and He is calling out to me every day.” – Jared
“I have to choose to be filled up by him. I can’t be a good head of my household without having a strong relationship with God. He shows me how to lead myself and my family.” – Jared
Psalm 77:6says,“Let me remember my song in the night;let me meditate in my heart.” (ESV)
Through the craziness, he had forgot his song. What is his song? All God had done for him. The songwasburied in the craziness of the season. If this has happened to you, there is hope!
Encouragement: Husbands, it is up to you to pursue God on your own, so you can lead your household. You can do it. God is constantly pursing you through every season.
Encouragement: Wives, keep pursing God and don’t stop praying for your husband. God is there for him and for you.
Encouragement: There is hope. This season won’t last forever. God is faithful. He doesn’t promise a perfect, or easy life. He promises to be with us. Pray for each other and lean into what God is doing in and through both of you.
Think of your mind like a minefield. Your mind is constantly waring for peace, control, understanding, etc…
If you are not careful, you mind can create spaces of“assumicide.”This term means assuming more than asking, which can lead to death within relationships. It sounds harsh, but it’s easy to remember. Macy shared how the Holy Spirit used this term to kindly convict her.
“If I spend too much time assuming, then I don’t spend any time asking. Jared and I would hit minefield after minefield and it caused too many fights in our first year. All because we assumed what the other person was thinking instead of simply asking. It created death in our baby marriage.” -Macy
Bottom line: Ask > Assume!
1 Corinthians 10:5says, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinionraised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to Christ.” (ESV)
Jesus gives you the power to take thoughts captive and make them obedient to Him. Use His power within you to ask instead of assume!
James 1:14-15 says, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” (ESV)
“I don’t even want to start down the road of my desires, or mental traps. The Bible is clear those thought patterns lead to sin and death. I don’t want these things in my head! I believe the Holy Spirit gives us the power to take ALL thoughts captive. We can choose what we think and how we respond.” – Macy
Jared shared how dating was mentally easy, but marriage wasn’t. He found himself consistentlyshut down and stuck in his thoughts. It often lasted 1-3 days. One thing he learned is to wake up every morning and choose to be married.
“We will reconcile eventually because divorce is not an option. Why wait? Just do it now!” – Jared
Choosing to work things out is worth it. Try and be the one who takes the first step to reach out and say sorry. Own your part and be humble. Believe neither person wants to sit in this moment/feel this way forever. Remind your spouse they are worth it. Speak the truth out in those hard moments.
Bottom Line: Divorce is never an option.
Ready For a Challenge?
Go on a date! Check-in with yourself and your spouse. Reminisce on the fun times (and the fights) from the first few years of marriage.
Ask yourself, “How Am I Doing?”
How have you grown? How can you push yourself to grow more in this next year of marriage?
Your relationship with God directly affects your marriage. Both are worth fighting for!
God, remind every heart of their worthiness. Their life and their marriage is your Gospel on display. Your death and resurrection give us the weapons of warfare to fight for our marriages. God, you are doing a work and will continue it until the day of completion. Will you move marriages forward into more of your goodness! Amen!
– The Robinson’s prayer for your marriage
If you have a question or a parenting issue that you’d like us to discuss in a future podcast, email us at [email protected].