We are having so much fun in this 2-part series about how to be an awesome parent! In the first part (which we highly encourage you to go back and listen to) we talked about how our kids see us.
We want to be the kind of parent our kids celebrate and honor. When they are grown up, we want them to say, “Thank you mom/dad for being the best!”
The bottom line is God is gracious enough to surround us with people. One of their purposes is to help us be the most awesome parent we can be!
Parents, we encourage you to PRAY for those people. God will show you who to pursue and which people will be able to help you be an awesome parent!
There are so many different people God places on this earth to bless us, teach us, and be in community with us.
Our topic for today is all about pursuing people outside our family and within our family!
Step 3: Pursue People Outside of Our Family
When we say people outside our family, we are mainly talking people you have never met (maybe people like us!). People who create conferences, books, or podcasts and allow us to expand our experience without having to live near them.
Shameless Plug! A part of our Basecamp (CCF membership) is called “Outside Resources.” It gives you all kind of resources we’ve used to help build our Crazy Cool Family!
You can also check out CCF Podcast: Episode 59 to hear some of our recommended resources on parenting.
Our 5th child and oldest son, Michael, found the value of reading during high school. He said, “Dad! I can read a book and in 8 or so hours get countless years of someone else’s experience.”
Our point is reading is a very inexpensive way to gain understanding or experience. It is a cheap and worthwhile experience!
It’s not just about getting information; it is about transforming the way you think. Reading is a form of learning and it will change you!
We designed Crazy Cool Family to guide you in this learning journey! Thankfully, we are not the only ones who want to develop your parenting, marriage, and family.
What are Resources You Can Use to Develop Your Parenting?
“What happens if I’m not a reader?”
Two of our kids dealt with learning disabilities. After several learning tests, we realized they would need to get creative with reading. They began to listen to the books. Most books today are recorded which makes it easier to listen and learn!
When McKenzie listens to a book, she picks up the speed because it was what her brain needed. Michael pushed past his reading issues and chose to become a reader despite his hinderances.
We want to push on you a bit here. Don’t let the road block of “I am not a reader” keep you from learning and discovering new information.
Our Basecamp site is based on how people learn. We designed it with short videos, audio links, and PDFs to compensate for all the different learning styles.
Bottom Line: You can learn. Take time to discover your learning style and don’t let the world hold you back.
Proverbs 19:20 says, “listen to counsel and accept discipline. That you may be wise the rest of your life.”
We love this verse! Let knowledge and understanding come alongside you and teach you!
This is why wisdom, in the Bible, is personified as a woman. A woman is complex and takes time to learn. So does wisdom! It takes months and months to absorb and understand. Not days, or moments.
How a man should pursue a woman is how we should pursue wisdom.
Step 4: Pursue People Within our Family
Okay, now we get to the most important part! This is why you are doing all these other things! You get to take what you learn and share it with the most important people in your life.
The reason we do the first 3 steps is so we can apply it to our family!
We learn all this stuff on the outside of our family and apply it to the inside of our family.
The people in the other groups come and go. You may change your mentors (we hope you keep us!), you may change your community, you may change the authors you read or the podcasts you follow, but God has handpicked the people within your family JUST FOR YOU!
Parents, our children have been given to us as a gift. Sometimes we see them as something we have to “work on.” Ultimately, they are gifts from God and a place of sacrifice where we get to lay our lives down.
Bottom Line: Our kids open up our eyes and hearts to a bigger world and ultimately change us.
Sometimes we don’t see this as parents. We are invited to live alongside others so they can help us see the fullness of God as it comes through raising our kids.
How Do I Learn to Connect with my Kids?
We challenge you to become a relational expert. What does this mean?
Parents, you are invited to get to know each member of your family. Their personality, what they like, what annoys them, and what motivates them. The more you know about each member of your family, the better parent you are going to be.
And ultimately, the better person you will be! Parenting is your role, but beloved daughter or son is who you are!
To pursue people in our family, we need to pursue people outside our family too! They go together. God entrusted your kids to you and it takes you AND others to lead them well.
God gives us family to help us learn about relationships. Everyone is different but we can learn how to relate to each other.
Family teaches us about relationships outside our family. Outside relationships teach us about family.
When you learn how to do relationships, you will become an awesome parent!
Most people don’t take the time to learn how to do relationships. So here are a few tips:
Study your family and outside relationships
Decide to understand them
Equip yourself with words to help you know each person
Here’s an Example
We have very different kids! We have introverts, extroverts, internal processors, external processors, a few with the favorite color blue, a couple with green and Macy loves purple. Mollie’s favorite number is 4. Maddox loves deep conversations. McCade is the true last child and can be very pesty and loves to make us laugh.
Knowing these insights gives us understanding of our family. It’s supernatural what unlocks when we choose to intentionally pursue people inside and outside our family!
Become a relationship expert. Learn how to do relationships. Apply it by learning each family member.
God uses community and helps us pursue them to better pursue our family. It becomes a flow and helps us love relationships the way God designed us to.
You become an awesome parent by pursing people AND pursuing your family!
Pursue People in front of your family
Mentors and older parents
Pursue People moving with your family
Community, friends, peers, neighbors
Pursue People outside of our family
Authors, podcasts, speakers
Pursue People within our family
Family, parents, kids, siblings
Don’t forget to pursue God! Pursue your Father and pursue people who point you back to Him! This is ultimately the key to healthy relationships.
The most valuable thing we can invest our time and energy in is people. Keep this in mind as you journey through parenting. God designed and created people to “go forth and multiply.” His plan is people. We get to decide what to do with the relationships God gives us! Let’s go!
We are launching another round of Basecamp!
What is Basecamp?
The tried-and-tested online resource for parents who crave connection with their kids + want to build a family who loves Jesus (& each other) without yelling, controlling, or sending anyone to a time-out!
We believe joining basecamp will help you build a crazy cool family!