We are celebrating 30 years of marriage this month and we are so excited to talk about the marriage line. Earlier this year we did a Marriage Month! If you want to learn about marriage, go check out all the podcasts we did in March about marriage!
Today, we want to share a few major revelations we’ve learned over the last 30 years. A lot of time we focus our resources on the parent to kid line but we think today is a great day to focus on the parent-to-parent line.
We believe marriage is one of the most important relationships. It’s a foundational line within our family. Marriage can be a tough relationship because of the differences.
If we are honest, we don’t expect things out of our kids the same way we do out of our spouse. Marriage relationship is different and we are called to learn about the differences.
Sometimes in a marriage, we put our spouse’s needs on the back burner. We are both adults and it can be easy to live independently.
Invest in Your Marriage
Through a counselor and a communication class we learned a lot about our marriage! We highly recommend seeing a marriage coach or counselor; it will build up your marriage.
We also took a survey which shared with us our values and how those can be met.
For example, we both have spirituality as one of our highest values. We pursue God differently but we both value being connected to God. Our marriage has needed special attention so we can learn how each person connects to God. Our marriage started to flourish when we sharpened each other with our differences instead of allowing them to cause resentment.
We saw differences as compliments, not hinderances in building our marriage. Knowing our differences helped us communicate.
When you get married, at some point conflict starts to arise. Instead of being confused and angry, grow in your awareness of each other. You are different, that’s a fact. How can you learn from those differences and use them to build your marriage, not tear it down.
Marriage = Good Communication
Our marriage coach tells us communication is key in marriage. It feels basic but in the last few years, we have zoomed in on this idea. We are exploring new levels of communication and we’d love for you to have breakthrough now in your marriage and not wait till year 30!
Here are a few things we’ve learned:
Be a good listener
Stop what you are doing and give them attention
Hear their heart, don’t try and fix the issue
Let each other just be
Less advice (help) and more questions
Use “I” instead of “You” statements
Your spouse can’t make you feel anyway, it’s your choice
They are not as defensive
Become a student of your spouse, not their critic
Study your spouse
We want your marriage to thrive! Embracing differences and communication are two amazing ways!
Here are a Few Ideas:
Basecamp: membership site to help you have a crazy cool family