3 C’s to a Crazy Cool Marriage
This month we have been talking about Pursuing God and how it relates to creating a Crazy Cool Family. So how does Pursuing God help us to have a better marriage?
What would you say if I told you your spouse’s opinion of you doesn’t matter?
“What?! Are you serious?!”
I told this to my men’s group a few weeks ago and I thought the guys were going to fall out of their chairs.
“What?” they said. “Please don’t tell my wife you said that.”
I laughed and said, “Let me explain. You are married to a person (and she is married to one, too) who is not God, does not see everything, and is sinful and self-serving sometimes. If you allow the opinion of any person in your life (including your spouse) to run your life, you will constantly be wondering where you stand and resentful of the hold that person has on you.”
Does that mean we should not listen to the opinion of our spouse? I wouldn’t suggest it if you want to be married very long. But as believers, we should listen to the opinion of our spouse and then see what God says about that opinion.
If we have a godly spouse and a godly relationship, most of the time those opinions should coincide. But if they don’t, then whose opinion do we follow? Choosing a person’s opinion — even our spouse’s — over God’s opinion will lead us to an emotional roller coaster of life that will cause a lot of unnecessary heartache.
Sound a little crazy? Well, God’s love is a little crazy!
In Matthew 10:37-38, Jesus says, “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take their cross up and follow me is not worthy of me.”
Again, a little crazy, Jesus. Aren’t we going a little bit overboard?
But remember I John 4:8: “God is love.” Romans 8:28 says “…all things work to the good of those who love Him.” If Jesus is telling us to love Him and His Father more than anyone, He has a good purpose for it. It is for our good that we love Jesus more than anyone or anything.
Why? Because God’s love is the best love we will ever have. It is unconditional, unrelenting, unequivocal. He will never leave us nor forsake us. It will last into eternity.
Ok, thanks for the sermon. What does this have to do with marriage?!
When we know we are loved like that, and when we know God is working for our good in our own life and in the life of our spouse, we can approach our marriage with a Crazy Confidence, Compassion, and Commitment.
Confidence…that God is working in our marriage for our good. We don’t have to control things because He is in charge.
Compassionate…toward our spouse because we can see our spouse as God sees him/her. Second Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Commitment…because God ordained marriage, and He has ordained that our best life is through loving our spouse as Christ loves us.
When we know that we are loved by God, Crazy things start happening in our marriages. I start to think differently.
- I don’t focus on all the things my spouse is doing wrong. I invite God to show me places to understand and be grateful.
- Instead of being fearful and hopeless that my marriage will always be the same and never improve, I now see God is working in every area. That brings courage and hope.
- I start to pray more for my spouse instead of trying to change my spouse.
- I start to become aware of where the enemy is trying to put a wedge in my marriage to destroy it. I start to fight him instead of my spouse.
When we Pursue God, which is at the top of our Crazy Cool Family diagram, we become a relaxed and confident spouse who brings love, life, and hope to the marriage rather than anger, fear, and expectations. That’s how Pursuing God makes marriage Crazy Cool.
If you like what you are reading and hearing in our Weekly Rethink, would you share it with others? Social media is great but also think about simply telling a friend about us. A personal invitation will make them feel special and is a safe way to introduce them to God working in their lives.
Go be Crazy, parents!
If you have a question or a parenting issue that you’d like us to discuss in a future podcast, email us at [email protected].
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