Time to Read: 2 minutes


Remember playing follow the leader as a little kid? Did you want to be the leader or the follower more?

Our kids are desperate for a leader!  They are watching for a Dad and/or Mom that will lead them in the ways of life.  By their actions they may not seem like they are dying for a leader- that they would rather BE the leader, but they truly are looking for someone to help them navigate life.

Why does it seem like such the opposite is true?  Why does it seem like there is such resistance to our leadership?  Dads, why does it feel like the last thing our wife and children want to do is follow our leadership?  Moms, why does it seem like that no one cares about doing the right things around the house?

First of all, we must understand that there is a war going on around us.  I Peter 5:8 says that “your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”  The devil loves nothing better than to cause divisions in your family. He delights in causing relationship havoc in the family wherever he can.  He will search for weak links and exploit them to his advantage and your family’s disadvantage. We launch our counterattack through fervent prayer.

Second, when there is a lack of following by those under our care, we must also go before the Lord to see how the Lord wants to change us to become more of a leader worth following.  So often as we counsel parents the answer to their issues is not with their kids but with the parents themselves. Some issues we find:

  • Are the parents willing to live in the same way (or a higher way) than they expect from their children?
  • Is the parent leading in a way that nurtures respect as a leader or are they being a leader that is hard to respect?   In other words, would you follow yourself?
  • Is the parent encouraging their child enough or is the relationship full of criticism and unmet expectations?  When a child feels like they can’t win, they go and find a place where they can win.

God put you into your kids’ life to lead them.  If you do it well, almost always they will follow you and then you can transfer that leadership over to an even better father in our Lord.  Many times when a child is not following your lead, it has more to do with you than them. Ask the Lord what it takes to be an excellent leader of your home and then get ready for some internal heart change to make it happen.