A Record of Rights

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I was reading in my Bible the other day in I Corinthians 13. Many people call this the Love Chapter because it gives us a word picture of how we should love others. I wouldn’t recommend reading it unless you want to be challenged. Fair warning.

As I was reading, one phrase jumped out at me. In verse 5, the apostle Paul tells us love “is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Wow. That one hit me hard. How often am I not quick to forgive and keep things in my heart against those I love the most? When I do that, it makes me resent them and certainly damages my relationship with them.  

So how do I stop keeping a record or wrongs? I know it’s good for me, but it sure is hard to do!

Then I heard the Lord say, “What if instead of keeping a record of wrongs in my head, I started keeping a record of rights?”

Not rights as in my rights in the relationship, but what if I focus on keeping a record of the things my wife and kids do right?  

For example, with my wife, what if I thought about things such as:

• We wear able to have a good discussion about some financial struggles yesterday.  
• She did my laundry and completely cleaned up the kitchen.  
• She is working in our flower beds, and they look amazing.  
• She has been a tireless helper to our daughter in the birth of our grandchild.  
• She listened to some problems I am having in the ministry and gave some great suggestions.  

When I got focused on doing my record of rights, all of a sudden I couldn’t stop writing. “She did this, and then she said that, and then she didn’t do that, and she did this and said that!”  

Suddenly I realized what the apostle Paul was trying to say. We choose to be easily angered. We choose to keep a record of wrongs. What we focus on either helps us to love others or to resent them.  

When I began to focus away from keeping a record of wrongs and started to focus on a record of rights, I started thinking differently about her. Loving her became so much easier. Not because she changed — she was doing a great job already — but because I chose to focus on her good.  

So do you want to take on a challenge to help you love your spouse and kids?  Start keeping a record of rights in your head. Maybe take a note in your phone whenever you think about them doing something good in your relationship. However you do it, when you keep a record of rights, you will not be so easily angered and your family relationships will definitely improve.

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