Do you sometimes have conflicts with your spouse — or ex-spouse — about how each of you are parenting your children?
- Maybe you feel like you have to be the one to discipline because your spouse doesn’t do it often or firmly enough.
- Maybe you want your kids to eat healthy, but your spouse wants them to enjoy ice cream and candy.
- Maybe you think excelling in sports is important, but your spouse doesn’t really see it that way.
It’s common for a husband and wife to have different temperaments and parenting styles. In fact, it’s likely that both of you approach parenting challenges very differently. These conflicts are bound to happen, and we all need help resolving them well.
Can I share one simple statement you can use to diffuse the tension and have a more rational conversation? Here it is:
“I know we’re not agreeing on our parenting methods right now, but I believe you want the best for our child, and I do too.”
Try it. It’s true. We rarely see situations where one parent is intentionally trying to harm the child. Almost all parents love their children and want what’s best for them. But parents often have different perspectives on how to get there.
So, first, come together by acknowledging that both of you have good intentions and share the same ultimate goal: the best for your child. By bringing this truth into the conversation, you can often reduce negative emotions and better resolve your parenting differences.
