Suzanne says, “If you listen to them when they are five, they will talk to you when they are fifteen.”
At every age, our children are full of stories about their lives. Are we ready and willing to listen to these stories? If we are, we’ll learn so much about their world and build deep trust in our relationship with them.
James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” This verse gives us a guide for how to listen to our children’s stories.
Be quick to listen. Stories often come at inconvenient times. Kids can ramble, and sometimes we’re not all that interested. But these moments are parenting gold!
Try this simple phrase to start: “Hey, tell me more about that.” Then ask questions to draw out the story:
Give your full attention. This isn’t the time to check a text or think about your to-do list.
Be slow to speak. Only add words that help them continue their story. This isn’t the time to share something similar that happened to you. You’re the audience, and it’s their stage.
Be slow to become angry. This is critical. Your reaction will tell them if you’re a safe place for this story—and the stories to come.
Now isn’t the time for a lecture about what they did wrong or who they’re hanging out with. Be grateful they’re sharing their life with you.
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is a safe place to tell their stories. As you develop the skill of truly listening, you’ll have a powerful tool for building a deep relationship with them.
