In her book The Body Keeps the Score, author and researcher Besser van Der Kolk says, “knowing that we are seen and heard by the important people in our lives can make us feel calm and safe, and … being ignored or dismissed can precipitate rage reactions or mental collapse.”
Sometimes parents come to us and say, “We have such a strong-willed child! No matter how much we discipline them, they still throw the tantrum. What can we do?”
What if we tried some preventive medicine? What if we focused on making the child feel seen and heard before the tantrum takes place? We’re not talking about coddling the child and giving them whatever they want. We are talking about simply paying more attention to them. Telling them how much you love them. Telling them how amazing they are.
What if the “rage reactions or mental collapse” can be solved by the way we treat them before the tantrum takes place?
Make efforts to make sure your child feels seen and heard and see if you don’t see a change in his or her behavior.
