Suzanne and I wrote a micro book called Bedtime – Make the Last Connection of the Day Be Your Best Connection (available on Amazon). You would think the book was focused on bedtime for Littles – which it is – but we also have a chapter at the end about how bedtime can be a great connection point for your teenagers as well.
In that chapter, we talked about making a habit of being available for your older kids when they came home at night or when they went to bed. For example, our kids know we will be up when they come home, and we request they come talk to us before they go upstairs.
The conversation is usually only a few minutes, but sometimes as we ask about their night we begin a deeper conversation about maybe their struggles with a friend or an issue they are having with school or an extracurricular activity.
Bedtime is not just about when they are little. We establish pattern when they are little that we continue as they grow up. As Suzanne says, “If you listen to them when they are five, they will talk to you when they are fifteen.” So true.
What if you are an early bedtime person? That’s ok. Every method is not for everyone. Maybe your spouse is a night owl. Maybe you pick other times to be available.
The point here is not the method but rather the principle of being available for your kids when they want to talk. And bedtime is definitely one of the times we found effective.
