Toddlers throwing fits are truly one of the most infuriating parts of parenting, right?
One second, they are totally fine and the next minute you put their shirt on, it is an all-out meltdown. It feels like they blow things way out of proportion, and everything is the biggest deal in the world.
We get it... but can we let you in on a little toddler secret?
Every fit they dramatically throw is because they think that the things happening to them ARE the biggest deal in the world.
It might seem small to you but to them it is the most devastating, infuriating, painful, hardest thing in THEIR tiny world.
So how do we handle this?
Validate
Talk them through it
Even at a young age they understand more than they can communicate. We can talk to them, they will get it. Here is a real-life example from our granddaughter.
Her mom is getting her dressed for the day and the little girl does not want to get dressed. Mom puts on her shirt and the toddler melts down. Full blown fit - crying on the floor.
Validate: The mom picks up the toddler and says “Oh baby I am so sorry that you’re sad about getting dressed. I get sad about that too. I would love to stay cozy in my pjs all day. Do you want to stay in your pjs?” (Toddler nods)
Talk them through it: Next she says “We cannot stay in our pjs all day because we must get ready to leave the house. When we leave the house, we get dressed. How about I lay these right here on your bed and when we go to bed tonight, we can put these on again and get cozy?”
This situation might seem like the harder thing to do and the thing that takes more energy but what it does is build relational equity with you and your child. Your kids are learning that you are safe, and they can talk to you.
Parenting can feel demanding and hard in these moments but if you invest instead of react, it will make a lasting impact on your kids.
