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In raising our seven children, there has been at least one trying season in each of their lives. A time when they are going through “stuff” in their personality and/or their lives which can make them super hard to handle.
Honestly, these seasons want to make us pull our hair out. Every day it seems like we are dealing with the same issues over and over with no end in sight. Can you relate to any of these examples?
Are you having an issue like this with one of your children right now? It’s not just hard on your relationship with the child. Most often the toxicity spreads to the entire family.
How do we let these seasons not cast a negative shadow over our entire family? First of all remember relationships develop more through adversity than they do through good times. When you can be there with consistent patience and grace for your child in the hard times and even when they are not so lovable, you will earn their respect and their love. Look at Matthew 5: 43-47 where Jesus tells us how easy it is to love those who love you but challenges us to love those who are hard to love.
Second, remember you can be firm without being angry. “I know it’s hard to go to school, but this is something we have to do and I will be there to pick you up and talk about all of it with you every day.” So often we add to our children’s issues with our own anger, guilt and manipulation which further takes them on a downward spiral. Do the right thing for your child with the right attitude.
When we have been successful in navigating these hard seasons with our kids, it’s because we remember the relationship is most important and most likely this too shall pass if we persevere with love and respect for them in this hard season.
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