What is the Core Issue?

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A bad grade on a test is a symptom. Or maybe it’s multiple bad grades that could result in an overall low grade in the class.

The poor performance in class is the problem. Now, ask yourself—and God—this question: What is the core issue? When we find the root cause, we can solve the problem for good.

Here are some possible core issues:

• The child doesn’t know how to study.
• The child may be distracted in class.
• The child lacks confidence in taking tests.
• The child doesn’t have an effective organization system to know what to study and when to turn in assignments.
• The child’s teacher isn’t effectively communicating with them.
• The child isn’t getting enough sleep.
• The child thinks the class is pointless and the information won’t be useful in real life.

How do we find the core issue(s)? We ask questions. We shift from lecturing to exploring.

Start with something like, “Hey, I noticed you’re having some trouble in this class. What do you think is keeping you from doing well?”

No matter what “excuses” they give at first, do your best to listen and keep asking questions. Find out what they think the problem is.

Then, form your potential solutions as questions: “Do you feel prepared when you take the test? Are you confident you’ve studied well?”

Remember, you can always lay down the law—you’re the parent. But by holding off on immediate lecturing and moving toward exploring core issues, you’ll often get to the real problem with much less conflict.

And once you’ve identified the core issues, you can build a bridge with your child and come alongside them to help. Maybe that means helping them study for the next test, getting them more organized so assignments are turned in on time, or setting limits on gaming so they’re well-rested for school.

Focusing on core issues instead of just symptoms is one of those “parenting gold” hacks that make parenting easier, more enjoyable, and certainly more effective.