What Kind of Teenagers are you Raising?

I was reading my friend Chris Harper’s blog (Harp from Better Man — great men’s blog) and he talked about a recent study of 10,000 twenty-four-year-olds who were asked, “Are you an adult?” Guess what? 51% said, “No.” 

Really? Over ½ of the twenty-four-year-olds think they are still a kid? 

This is called extended adolescence, and it is everywhere in our society today. Parents are helicoptering and coddling their kids so much that “kids” in their 20’s don’t even think they are adults. 

You want to know how to raise teenagers? Read the Gospels. Seriously. Whether or not you are a believer in Jesus, even the other religions admire his teaching. And he is a genius when it comes to raising teenagers.

How did he raise teenagers, you say? Well, it is generally assumed by biblical scholars that the disciples were all teenagers. In that day, at thirteen Jewish boys and girls were beginning their adulthood responsibilities. 

Interesting fact: The term teenager was first introduced to our world in America – of course – as an advertising term made up to sell products to a new audience. The world had never really heard of teenagers as a specific class of people until we invented them.

But back to Jesus and his disciples. He took twelve unschooled teenagers — ok, Judas didn’t work out so eleven made the cut — and discipled them for three years. His results? He took those unschooled teenagers and turned them into world changers!

And you know what? Legend tells us that every one of them died a brutal death for his cause except for the apostle John who was exiled for life.  He inspired them to live a life of purpose they were willing to die for. Every one of them.

What if we parented our teenagers less like the world and more like Jesus? Could we create world changers too? What did Jesus do to create world-changing teenagers?

• Jesus put up with the dumb questions His disciples asked and challenged them to think differently. In Matthew 18, they asked him, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” Not the best question to ask a guy who is about to make the ultimate sacrifice for the world. But he patiently tells a story to answer their question. (Answer: “Whoever takes the lowly position of a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”)
• Jesus let the disciples try things and make mistakes and then He was there for them to help them learn from their mistakes. He didn’t do everything himself. In Matthew 10, we see that he sent the disciples out two by two with instructions about how to operate just like he did. (Even the two by two is great parenting counsel – our kids should never have to face adversity alone. They need a reliable wingman.)
• Jesus spent time with them not only teaching them but also enjoying community with them. Even as he knew he was going to his death, he had a last meal with them – the Last Supper – so that he could encourage them and give them instructions for the road ahead.
• Jesus didn’t do everything for them, but challenged them to step out in faith. Remember the 5,000 needing food in Matthew 14? Jesus said, “You give them something to eat.” He challenged them to come up with answers that required them to have faith.

Teenagers are amazing people! They have hopes and dreams and desires and beliefs. Just like Jesus chose His disciples, God has chosen to give us our teenagers so we can draw out the amazingness God has created in them.

What if we parented more like Jesus did with his disciples? 

What if we were patient with their dumb questions? FYI, teenagers are like two-year-olds with freedoms. Puberty puts their emotions out of whack, their sleep cycle out of whack, and all this happens as they are figuring out what they believe in life. You think that won’t produce some dumb questions? What if we met them where they are with our guidance instead of our lectures?

What if we let them make mistakes more and quit trying to make sure everything is perfect for them? 

What if we got onto them less and enjoyed them more?

What if we challenged them to talk about their faith and to step out in faith? What if we encouraged them to take some chances in their lives while they are under our roof – the best time and place for us to counsel them?

When your teenager is twenty-four, how do you want them to answer that question? Do you want to create wimpy teenagers and adults who don’t want to grow up or do you want to create confident teenagers and adults who are excited to take on the world? 

If Jesus can create world-changing teenagers in just three years, think of what we can do with our kids with our eighteen years at home! 

Ready for more? Dive into our podcast! Or, drop us a line at Crazy Cool Family – we’re excited to connect with you!